EMPTYNESS

How could I conquer, When there is no enemy

How could I whisper, When the words are slipping

How could I walk, When my ground is tumbling

How could I teach, When the souls are empty

 

How could I love, when the heart is breaking

How come it’s life, when no body is caring

How come I am alive, when I am not breathing

How can I dream, when no body are sharing

 

How could I sing, When there are no moments

How could I tell, when I am not thinking

How could I defy, When my soul is sold

How can I stare, when I am not wondering

 

How could I die, when I am not living

How could I be in heaven, When I did the killing

How could I weep, when there is no reason

How could I listen, When there is no telling

 

I WON ?

A Day is dying

Doors were closing

Hard words were spoken

Rage has prevailed

Smiles were lost

Eyes were drenched

Soles were conquered

Young hearts were broken

Parents won the argument

My doors are closed

Books were torn

Loneliness flourished

Darkness  took its birth

Walls were spectators to my screaming

Doors & pillows are the victims of my rage

Days  were spent in despair

Emptiness creeped in

The time has stopped

That day was dead

Follower to slavery was born

The world you have won

Ignorance you have won

Fate you have won

An other child was dead.

ENGINEERING STUDENT DAIRY

SELF SUICIDAL

It started all the way from home, fed up of impressing people who cared for me and the people who are around me waiting for me to overtake so that they can win over me. The first time when i took a pint of beer is at a daba and i never planned to consume it again. Since i failed in my examination and i did not have the courage to disclose it to my parents and think about that i could not get any sleep i got a large MC Donald with the people who failed and the one who passed the examination hosted the party. I started to have it “neat” in our language and my body could not resist, i started puking every were and felt like my worries are going out of my body and had some nice sleep after a while. I slowly got habituated and with out my consigns i became a slave to this in happiness, sadness, loneliness, in shelter, on the streets all i felt was to consume it so that i could make me to sleep. The one question that triggered my mind was why does all the bad happen to me .Slowly started blaming people who were never responsible for this and always thought myself as victim of the evil in my society and never understood that i am one among the society. Became a alcoholic, were i initially blamed society, parents, girl friend, friends, and in the end found out that i am the only one who is left to blame . The initial  worries made me to drink in a group but the lost one made me to drink alone and by this time 4 years passed away and became a lonely drinker and got pissed of at my life and by the loneliness around me, tired of speaking to walls, and living in the shadow of failures and its too dark, i thought of giving up life, one thing i noticed it takes a lot of courage to take of  life if i did not drink, so consumed a hell alcohol and started to cut my wrist with a broken bottle and could not find a sharp knife or a sharp blade since i used to shave with a use and throw razor and the blood started oozing out and it felt like haven to me and ended up in an hospital and i understood the agony it caused to my parents who i never cared for. People started staring me like a loser and no one used to talk to me and they walked away from this psycho and no one walked in my direction. As initially i was a loser, failure, and now waring a new tag of psycho and it troubled me more and no person was there to get me out of this living hell. So in order to hurt my self more or to explore my happiness in me i went in to drugs and i could not stay there for a longer time, because it once almost killed me and by the time i walked out of this it took my 5 years of time and still not able to find a answer. One fine day i walked in to rehabilitation centre and looking people around me and i understood there were many victims who are boys, girls,kids, parents and many more. I slowly reduced drinking since i started to help the people in need and i found some happiness in that, but it took one more year for me to completely stop drinking, and books helped me a lot to come out of it and thinking that i want to be a solution for this problem i quitted and since there are many students like me or many employees like me, your deeds are important to change the world thats all i want to convey and i am not hear to give a message.

DARE TO DIGEST

This is a story of what a dream to do something, even to  conquer your fate ” There is not fate but what you make”.

In 1974 Ms.Sonal was invited to west Germany, for teaching Bharatanatyam for the young people all over the world. One fine day ( sunday) afterwards finishing her dinner, she was travelling to her guest house with her fiancé at midnight and suddenly a deer crossed the road. The driver applied the breaks and the car went spinning and summersaulted three times. There were no seat belts at that time and she was thrown 15 feet out of the car just like a scrap thrown in to a dustbin. Fortunately the pedestrians have seen the incident and dialled for an ambulance and the moment she opened her eyes, she was in an hospital. She found herself very hard to move. The doctor read the report stating that “ Four ribs on the left side and my colarbone are shattered and the most serious of all damage was in the spine and the 12th vertebra was smashed to small pieces ” and apart from that she also suffered from neurological problems.

The things got much worser, since the doctor gave two solution, one was to insert a steel rod in to her spine and the other was to put me in a plaster cast. The doctors favoured the steel rod but if they do that she would recover a bit fast but cannot dance any further. But the second part was too painful and there was narrow  chance that she can dance again. She was not even in a position to speak and she chose for the plaster cast. She was in deep pain internally wether she would dance again or not. The next day she was shifted in to torture chamber (orthopaedic treatment). In this treatment she has to be suspended between two tables, one head on the table and the on the other and they rest of the body is hung like a cradle.She had 4 kilos of dressing on her entire body from neck to hip and held in that position for 14 days. Then she was advised to leave to Monteral. But now she should take a flight to Monteral and she was taken to frankfut airport, the airport staff has forgot to turn on the intercom and the flight was about to take off. So they requested the pilot and the pilot was not ready to board a patent on the flight without permission and she was left with only one option that she should climb 49 steps by food ( there were no escalators) and those were the toughest and terrified steps that she had taken in her life.

After one year of time she stared to practise dance, and the first day she tried to dance again my doctor advised her start her dance practise again from the start. Several times she cried out to herself “ Is tis me? Is this my body? whats going on?”. After 1 year age performed show. After some time the doctors observed in the X-rays that “ between the eleventh and thirteenth vertebra, a new bone had grown like a bridge in place of the twelfth vertebra that had been smashed.”

In a single moment you can become lower than a worm or rise to greater  heights if you have faith in your self and in the divine. Even when you think there is know choice, there is always a choice”.

This is the story of Dr. Sonal Mansingh

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STAND FOR YOURSELVES

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Infinite amount of faith kept

Billions of thoughts went

millions of lives liquidated

lacks of hours spent

thousands people  left

hundreds of tears swept

Tens of years in debt

Zero’s  interest kept

To lead a life of others………..

But now its the time for you to lead a life of your own

A HERO IS A MAN WHO IS SCARED TO RUNAWAY

This reminds of an incident in 9/11, where four architects working in the 50th floor did not run away from the duties of being human beings, they stood there when people needed and there confidence did not fade away while they know that death is end point, and saved the lives of  seventy people. A japan official gave visas to almost 2000 people who are jews and helped them to run away from nazis. It costed his life but he is a god to almost eight thousand  people now. But now I see people running away from parents, confidence, friends, family,relations, time, love, happiness and finally from there soles. Its time for us to at least thinks who we are and were do we stand. They worst habit one can generate is to run, but once you started it, you will be a slave to it.